Greetings. Let me start by saying that I have been sober from alcohol and most mood and mind altering substances since November of 1993. There are a couple of qualifiers to that statement…I drink coffee almost every day. I have been on various pharmaceuticals for the treatment of depression and anxiety for the better part of 20 years, although I am happy to report fewer than ever in the whole long and bloody tale of my recovery.
As you can imagine, I have a long story, and lots of short ones that makes up the tale of my recovery. My plan is to tell these stories here, in installments. I don’t have a specific plan and I am not sure how it will all unfold, but stay with me.
Recovery started for me in the 7th grade. It was the first time I ever showed up somewhere and said, “There is something wrong with me, I need help”. I was 12 at the time. I was already drinking, although not a lot, and that wasn’t what I showed up at the school psychologist’s office for. My mother had died about a year before that, my father remarried almost immediately, I wasn’t coping very well and I was aware that I needed help.
The impulse to make some kind of change, to get to the place where the fear of staying the same becomes greater than the fear of making changes, propels us forward, even when we don’t yet know what we need.
If you are reading this, and are either on the road of, or just beginning, your journey into recovery – from anything: addiction, grief, trauma, toxic relationships, this blog will cover these topics. I also intend to share the tools and resources that have allowed me to travel this road. I don’t pretend to be an expert or to know everything, but I have had an incredible journey, from the depths of codependency and addiction, to the heights of trauma recovery and spiritual experience.